
Well, well, well...
Sorry. Terri8le pun.
Welcome 8ack to the Captain's Log. I figure it's a8out time I let you know how my convers8ion with Roz'8erry went.
Our convers8ion was held inside a sort of void. At the center of that void, there was a well. She clim8ed out of it (I regret holding her at swordpoint out of panic) and 8egged me for food, which I had on hand and gave her.
She looked like she'd 8een scu8a diving in the River Acheron for the last month. 8eaten, wounded, covered in kelp. I couldn't 8lame her for 8eing a little rude in that situ8ion. I'm much more of a 8itch in much less dire circumstances.
Through our convers8ion, I noticed one connecting thread. Wherever the Ontonauts are, they didn't want me to find them. They thought I would end up in whatever situ8ion they're in if I tried.
Roz could only tell me one thing a8out where they were. She said it was "the Well", and she spoke a8out it like it was some sort of hell I was marching into.
What she failed to account for is that my hu8ris is only outmatched 8y my luck (ALLLLLLLL OF IT). ::::)
We've made some good progress on tracking down the Compass Squad. We got an insane head start when someone su8mitted Star8ound as a universe to check. I didn't think it would work at first, 8ut since it's something that shares sentimental value to 8oth myself and the su8mitter, we were a8le to get a solid 0.2 narr8ive clicks closer to the Squad.
That doesn't sound like a lot if you're not experienced in narr8ive traversal, 8ut hopping 0.2 clicks can get you from Uzumaki to Azumanga Daioh. From War and Peace to War of the Worlds with enough distance to spare to make a stop at WARHOUND. In other words, we've made damn good headway.
The concerning part is that someone su8mitted Lo8otomy Corpor8ion as the next universe to stop at.
Whoever made me trudge through the City and 8r8k into L Corp's headquarters to escape, I'm not mad. I'm not! Really! I'm not at all mad that I nearly got my head taken off 8y the Mountain of Smiling 8odies! And I'm certainly not even a little miffed that I had to hide from an Ar8iter for six hours! Really, my only question is why it wasn't the Li8rary. It was right there. It would have 8een so much fucking easier. What, never got around to playing the game? Is deck8uilding not your thing? Or were you just having a little fun fucking with me?
Either way, we're onto Universe Five already. I'm not sure what place this is yet, 8ut judging from the artstyle, it seems like it might 8e Madoka Magica.
(Why the fuck did that not center?)
Okay. I need you all to listen to me. I know that this is the num8er one way to invoke the Streisand effect, 8ut I need to try. I need you to actually heed my warning.
Don't fuck with the al8atrosses.
This is a message Roz told me to pass along. If you want the Ontonauts to survive, step away from the Well. Stop praying. It's a 8it to you, I know. Hard to have empathy for something fictional, right? Just gotta keep kicking that fucking dog 8ecause you know it's not real. 8ut think twice this time. Think that may8e, just may8e, there's someone on the other side who doesn't want to get their life fucked over 8ecause you wanted to 8e funny.
Not much to say other than that. Just 8e careful what you mess with. Wishing wells never end up how you want them to. They show that in like. Every horror TV series ever.
Captain Serket out, for now. Next log soon.
(P.S. She asked me "what is the num8er?". Anyone know what that means?)
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