Also try Serious Weakness!Obsession is a dangerous thing!Nidhogg-approved since 1972!Open the door! Get on the floor! Everybody walk the dinosaur! Obsession is a wonderful thing! You can always trust the Curator! Also try Alvin and the Chipmunks for the Nintendo DS! Haven't you ever moved through your life and felt like you were surrounded by nothing but dogs? Zampanio 8.88 This Is (Not) A Game! The house always wins! Why can't Vriska just write these herself? The text is green because it can be placed here! Wanda, please call me back. I miss you. It's like watching a musical about yourself!Obsession isn't even real, silly!Nidhogg-corrupted since 1972!Open the door! Get on the floor! Everybody walk the dinosaur! You've been watching this text go by for a while, haven't you? You can never trust a hotel mirror! Also try GOOD GIRL WITH A GUN! Haven't you ever moved through your life and felt like you were surrounded by nothing but dogs? Zampanio 8.0+1.11 Never Forget! Polybius is for squares! Hey. Thank you for listening to me for so long. Eight minutes is a long time to stare at a bunch of moving text on a screen. Here, you deserve a reward. Take this. Our little secret, okay? Alright, I'm running out of space before the animation loops. Catch you later, wanderer. ;)
__ _ __ _ _ __
/ /_| | _____ __/ /__ _ __ (_) __| | ___ _ __ / /
/ / _` |/ _ \ \ / / / __| '_ \| |/ _` |/ _ \ '__/ /
/ / (_| | __/\ V / /\__ \ |_) | | (_| | __/ | / /
/_/ \__,_|\___| \_/_/ |___/ .__/|_|\__,_|\___|_|/_/
|_|
Let us 8egin 8y making one thing perfectly clear.
There is a Door to the West. No matter how 8adly they want to deny its existence, it remains, and
may Grace have mercy on your soul if you are caught within its shadow. You have no reason to 8elieve me
yet, of course. Some will say Truth and Lies are spirals in equal measure, 8ranching ad infin8um with no
a8solute nexus.
8ut, if you found this place, you seek neither Truth nor Lies. Neither the 8liss of escape nor the raw,
venal tempt8ion of knowledge. Your path is one of a8solute hu8ris. The kind of wanderlust that drives
the good and curious into the
houses of nameless
Gods, 8lades sparkling with manic fury against the la8yrinthine darkness.
In simple terms,
you want to go somewhere no one has ever 8een 8efore.
I was coasting down a headfirst slide
into Hell when Zampanio first found me. Stalked 8y a rip-roaring agglomer8ion of sleepless nights, high
on ego death and drunk on detachment, long-accustomed to wandering a maze without Walls. The w8 of
old, stale expect8ions hung thick and heavy over my world like an oil spill on stagnant waters, and I
was left with only the stomach-twisting inertia of want.
That's how all truly
memora8le stories start, I suppose. Inertia. Un8eara8le stillness veiling the world in rerun sunshine, a
mask only there to 8e mutil8ed 8y the perpetual motion of the narr8ive.
One night, five days and eight 8ranches deep into Zampanio, I fell asleep and had a dream. And upon
waking from that impossi8le dream, for the first time in my life, I knew where to go.
Through fiction and unfiction alike, across every genre and classific8ion we can provide to descri8e the
ephemera of the not-quite-real, there is one unspoken rule so simple that it never even needs to 8e
implied. The rule that Fiction is Just Fiction. Stories may grip and excite and terrify, 8ut they cannot
ever truly 8e real8y, and we're far 8etter off for it.
8ut still, those like me and you remain. The uncategorized, the unconsciona8le, the waylaid under8elly
of the world. 8orn in a pulp-magazine cradle and raised with one foot in the West Door.
Practicing our smiles in the mirror as children, trained to mimic the human experience since 8efore we
knew our own real names. The ones people say should stay in the pages of fiction.
So why shouldn't I 8e free from it? Why shouldn't I shatter every rule and knock down the 8arricades on
the door no one has ever even fathomed opening?
Why not 8ecome fictional myself?
That's what the Fourth Wall is. A crack in the armor separ8ing fiction from real8y. The further you
travel to the
West, the more that oh-so-sacred line 8etween fact and imagin8ion 8lurs. 8ends. And - if you
stray far enough - 8r8ks entirely, in a way you'll never 8e a8le to fully undo. I had to learn that the
hard way when I was first writing my Zampanio explor8ion doc and started feeling horns protruding from
my head.
May8e that's what the rot really is. May8e fiction also 8reathes. May8e it 8leeds in a thousand colors
the human eye hasn't ever seen 8efore. May8e it lives on 8eyond the last time a word is written, and
may8e it dies, re8orn again and again as something new and 8eautiful.
May8e fiction thinks for itself.
Truth 8e told, no one has found the Door yet. It certainly won't 8e found on any we8site. Perhaps
the only place it can 8e found is 8ehind the eyes of the o8server, at the end and the 8eginning of a
journey unique to every one of us, the ones who know a 8eautiful, impossi8le flower w8s to 8loom from
the constricting sapling of the Self we perceive. 8ut that's what this place is for. A two-way radio to
the dreaming expanse 8eyond the Wall, where 8oth you and the stories have a voice to sing and scream.
Your very own path to the West.
Suspension of dis8elief is the easiest thing in the world. 8ut suspension of 8elief is a far, far more
difficult matter. So, if you're feeling more skeptical than idealistic, we invite you to test your
mettle, wanderer. Tear it all down. De8unk and rationalize and try your 8est to 8urn down the house for good. See if
you can suspend that 8elief in a way that matters. The Door will w8 for you with open arms either
way.
Welcome to the Wall. You'll learn to h8
(that you love) it here, I'm sure.
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